If you’re Canadian, chances are you’ve experienced at least a few of these things below. You may not have called it what I have – but feel free to start.
1) “Scrape lag” – The extra time you must prepare for in the morning to hack away at the thin sheet of ice on your windshield in winter.
2) “Tuque burn” – The uncomfortable sensation you get from wearing a hat for hours in the cold while skiing, skating or walking to the convenience store.
3) “Streaming rage” – The sinking feeling and angry implosion when you are trying to watch something online and you get this message: “Not available in your region.”
4) “The Canadian dream” – This is just like the American dream, but a bit more polite and with more discussion about the weather.
5) “Poutine delay” – Those 15 minutes of uninterrupted sitting you need after a nice plate of the gastronomic harmony created by the mixing of potato, gravy and cheese.
6) “Peer puck pressure” – The need to express your love for hockey to other Canadians, even if you don’t like it (although I am a fan, I swear!)
7) “Victoria Day cross-border outlet hunt” – Seeing as Canadians have a holiday and the US is open for business, it’s a great time to cross over to see our American retail friends.
8) “Celebrity grieving” – The unfortunate feeling that we are losing our talent – especially comedians – because they need to jump to the bigger markets outside of Canada.
9) “Maple crash” – It is possible to overdo maple. While not as strong as a real sugar crash, the maple crash follows the melodically sweet high of pouring a mugful of liquid brown gold onto pancakes or french toast, or when Tim Horton’s has their “let’s put maple on everything” weeks. NOTE: This only applies to real maple syrup, not that fake stuff known only as “syrup / sirop.”
10) “Royal confusion” – You’re not really sure what our relationship is to the British Royals, or how you feel about it.
I really do love Canada and everything Canadian. Come over and see everything that this beautiful country has to offer – coast to coast, every kilometer (that’s right, metric system!) is a new adventure.
Happy Canada Day!
Constant Questions: What other Canadian terms or experiences can you think of? If you’re not from Canada, what are some unique experiences where you are from? Is your heart glowing? Do you stand on guard for thee? I hope so!
Check out this wonderfully politically correct version of O Canada by that great Canadian William Shatner.